Saturday, November 10, 2012

A Mommy's Worry

When my sweet children wrap their arms around my neck so tight and their love radiates through my arms to my heart, I don't want to let go. Ever. I don't want them to let go turn away and become their own. I want to hold them oh so tight to protect them, love them, and stand still in these moments.

The nature of worry came to the surface even more the first few years as a mom. The first year I worried of SIDS. The second year I worried about their care from someone other than me. Dropping my child off at the nursery in Church left me anxious through our service every Sunday. Planning a date night with my husband, well that didn't happen very much.

Who would know the sounds of my children's cries when they were hungry, needing a special blanket, or just a very tight hug. Who would rock my children, snuggled in my arms just the way they like it, so they can play with my ears.

Who would pretend to be a dinosaur and roar through the house with them, and really enjoy it. Who would dance through house with them. After this it then started the worry of Who would take care of my precious children if something happened to me. Could someone love my children as much as I do?

I am their Mommy. I know all their joys, hurts, routines, tickle spots, and ways to calm them.

God had to tell me, oh so often.

Angie, My Child, these children I have given you are a gift from me. These are not your children but mine. Love them as I love you. Trust in me and I will provide. I know their means, ways, and needs. I have their names inscribed in my heart. They are children of God. I love them.

So much love. From a perfect God and Father.

I had to turn my worry into Trust and Faith in God. Whenever I started to worry about a situation. Envisioned the what ifs.

I prayed. Please God turn my worry in to trust and faith in you. Please God help me to see each blessing every day before I worry. God is faithful and restored my heart from worry. God loves my children more than I could ever imagine. God will provide for my children if I am here or not.

They will be loved unconditionally by our Heavenly Father.

God showed me a glimpse of his Kingdom. I need to have a heart of God's kingdom. Loving others like Jesus. I needed a heart of contentment. Give to others in a selfless way. Forgive without boundaries. I do not own my children, yet they are gifts of grace from God that I will treasure.

For now I will cherish each laughter, every tear, and even the hard days of being a mother. I will count my blessings instead of worry for I will trust in the Lord with all my heart!

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